Zero Sums is, or in the case of relationships the “belief” that, the gain of one is a loss to another – the perspective of your gain being my loss is evident in business, politics and relationships.

In family businesses it is exceptionally devastating – to the achievement of a multi-generational business and the sustainability of the family itself.

Ralph, third generation in a California real estate family business, was introduced to a family business mastermind group – where best management practices for family business success are the primary discussion among peers from several family businesses.

Ralph expressed finding a great deal of value from the mastermind – discussing his challenge in getting his father to listen to his ideas. Another participant talked about the challenge of curtailing her son who was brining on ideas for change too soon and too fast.  Without the interference of their own family, they were able to hear the other’s perspective.

Ralph approached his family about the business paying for his participation in the group. A week later he called me saying that the family was not willing to cover the cost. One of the responses of his family members was that he would be getting something they were not.

Family dynamics are complicated, and zero-sum mindsets within them are hazardous.  They destroy the potential.  To often it takes a “whack on the side of the head” to want change. A first step is to engender an intention to avoid them; and, often, professional help is necessary to start making progress.